The following letter was written by Laura Milcarzyk, a client who has graduated from the program at Harford Family House and spoke at the organization’s prayer vigil last Tuesday. Joyce Duffy, ED/CEO Harford Family House, provided the letter and said Milcarzyk hopes that her story will help those who oppose building or expanding shelters to serve the homeless in our area, to understand that homeless people have value, and with support can change their lives and become productive members of the community. Harford Family House has another prayer vigil scheduled for Tuesday at 7:30pm at Mt. Zion Church in Churchville:
On Tuesday, September 08, 2015, I was invited to attend a prayer vigil called, Hope for the Homeless. The prayer vigil was a response to the recent conflict in Edgewood concerning the need to provide shelter for that community’s homeless population before the coming winter season. The group consisted of Pastors from around the county, including Mountain Christian, St. James AME Church, Word of Faith Church, Greater Grace of the Chesapeake, Havre de Grace UMC, Grove Presbyterian Church and others. Two points were evident among this circle of clergy. One was their deep heartfelt concern for those living out in the elements in during the coming cold season. The second was a humble plea for wisdom and guidance in finding the right solution. The seeking for God’s wisdom will continue next Tuesday, September 15, 2015 at 7:30, when we will hold another prayer vigil for Hope for the homeless at Mt. Zion UMC on Rt.22 in Churchville.
For those who wonder who homeless people are, and how they become homeless, here is my story:
On May 31, 2009, I took one last look around my home, the place I had spent the last ten years. My four year old was already in the car, buckled into his car seat, a bag for each of us on the seat next to him.
The night before a woman on the SARC helpline, after assessing that I was not in any immediate danger, asked me to wait until morning to leave. After my husband had left for work, she told me, I was to drive to a parking garage in Bel air, leave my car there, and walk to the police station located on Main Street. An officer would then escort me to the SARC safe house.
As I locked the door, I knew there would be no going back. I was terrified in equal parts, to stay or go. I was fearful of what my husband might do because of my leaving him and taking our son. I did not how we were going to survive or where we were going to live. My paychecks never being my own, I had no money for an apartment. I was a food service worker, with no education, no self-confidence, depression and extreme anxiety issues.
One thought moved me forward. What future lay in that house for me and my son. Was the drinking, the drugs, the violence, the poverty, the overwhelmingly constant fear, what we would have to deal with for the rest of our life? I locked the door and did not look back. I was officially homeless.
The homeless all have different stories to tell and different challenges to overcome. Their cries for change are real, although many do not see it as such. Often times, those who are living in poverty, addicted to drugs and alcohol and are homeless are doing so because they know no other way. They have no understanding, nor do they have the ability and/or skills needed to survive in a “normal” environment. Their cries for change are real, only they do not know how to get out of the cycle they are in, to a place of real success and victory over their situations.
For me the SARC safe house was a simply one step, one group of people reaching their hand down to help me rise up. I was also surrounded by church family, by counselors, and placed in a transitional housing program. The road before me was long and arduous, but I was not alone.
The staff at Harford Family House, my apartment sponsor, my pastor, all the business’, organizations, churches, and private citizens were a support, a foundation for me to begin rebuilding mine and my son’s life, to give us a better future, to become contributing citizens in Harford County. Having a shelter improves the quality of life not just for the homeless, but for the community. Caring for the suffering of the people around you is good for the community’s soul.
I still live at Harford Family House as a regular renter, and serve as a volunteer. This past spring I graduated from Harford Community College, and am now attending Towson State University. I am so grateful for the support I received and for the hope that I have for the future. I hope this kind of support can be available to all of those experiencing homelessness in Harford County.
WOW !!! Congratulations on your progress !! I am currently “homeless” in a motel for the time being. We share some commonalities however I haven’t reached out for help from any organizations trying to do it this week. Wish me luck, Thank you for sharing your story !! <3
Since you seem to be literate and able to work a computer and have access to the Internet good luck on the job search that I’m sure you’re diligently working on.
@MoneyTree.. thank you was wondering if anyone else was picking up on that! Trolls coming out with scripts in hand!
I love when folks hide behind faith and tell others they are somehow less “Christian” if a horribly planned idea was shot down by the community. Do your research instead of trying to throw money at the situation. Be real about what this was, this was designed to be a heavy concentration of homeless ran by folks who had no training or experience in running this type of facility.
The road to hell is paved with people who had good intentions, don’t push your poorly planned idea on us and then claim “The Lord” was behind it. Many ideas were the “Lords” idea because it was convenient and seemed to be a easy solution. Solutions aren’t easy and building a homeless supercenter doesn’t come without a slew of problems that none of those represented were trained to handle. I read a book on building houses, that doesn’t mean I’m qualified to do it, it takes work and certified professionals.
Dear Mommadukes4112,
I have worked with many homeless individuals over the past five years and currently there have been some changes regarding homeless services in Harford County. The best place for you to start is the Harford County Community Action Agency in Edgewood at Woodbridge Center Way. Go in person M-F as close to 8:30am as possible. The phone number is 410-612-9899. And pay no attention to those negative comments. God forgive them, they know not what they do. <3
God forgive them? Go pound sand. I don’t need your forgiveness but I think you need mine. The righteous thing to do is create productive citizens first, not sign people up for free stuff first. Absent physical limitations there’s no reason somebody sitting in a motel with a laptop waiting to be saved by the system can’t reach out to Wegmans to see if they’re hiring. Good lord and I mean good lord – it’s better for kids to see a parent working than sitting around collecting a check from some agency.
How do you know she (or any other homeless person) was sitting in a motel with a laptop? More likely, she was sitting in the library, using the a computer there.
The library or a hotel…it doesn’t matter. A job is the best “program” to prevent homelessness. If somebody has such a problem in their life that they have no where to go and are living in temporary shelter sure seems to me spending that online time surfing job postings makes more sense that trolling public forums like Dagger.
Dear Money Tree: If I offended you in any way I do apologize…that was not my intention. And you are partially correct – doing nothing but giving them free handouts is not the answer. Our agencies in Harford County are not handing out checks. Of course the goal is to help them become contributing citizens of the community and give them a sense of pride and self worth by providing them the help they need to work if they are able so they can live by their own means. The majority of the homeless I have worked with these past several years are not druggies, alcoholics and/or mentally ill. They are people just like you and me who have fallen on hard times often due to lost jobs which has led to lost homes or other circumstances beyond their control. One family in my neighborhood recently had their home forclosed on when the husband lost his job and could not find one that paid enough to cover his mortage. Some who are homeless and work live in their vehicles. Many others have lost their vehicles as well which presents the problem of transportation to and from a job. Harford Transit does not run in the evenings or on weekends. A father of three I recently helped in Edgewood was taking Harford Transit to his 10pm night shift job at 6pm and waiting for four hours for his shift to begin so he could work. Transportation is just one of the gaps that exist across the country for those who are homeless. Unfortunately, the stigma attached to homelessness is one of the biggest problems….it makes it more difficult for these men and women to get jobs which makes it more difficult to pay for a place to live. Some who ARE working or on disability due to physical limitations are paying exhorbitant prices ($300 per week) to live in a lousy (and I mean lousy) motel room because no one will rent an apartment or house to them because they do not have a two year rental history or good enough credit. Some are Veterans who have fallen through the cracks in an imperfect system. Some have had to leave very abusive situations with only the clothes on their back. And others are losing their jobs when they show up dirty and smelly becuase they have no place to shower or wash their clothes. Anyway, I do hope that some of these examples I have experienced in my work with our homeless helps to clarify some things. It is vitally important for all of us to understand the true face of homelessness if we are to have any hope of giving real help to them much less putting an end to our homelessness problem. I do believe God would have those of us who are able to help these men, women and children in any way we can.
Is “The Dagger” only available via the internet and a computer, smart phone, some sort of electronic device? Or is “The Dagger” in a hard copy format as well? I pray for the author of the letter and commenter(s) on a life well led.
All the articles in “The Dagger” are also in the Harford County Newspaper, The Aegis.
Laura is a shining example of what can happen when hope and help is offered in a time of need. The vigils are part of an effort of a Alliance of community, church and local government all working together to provide solutions to end Homelessness in Harford County.
Helping people… those who have difficult choices to make takes a community. When a homeless person is clearly a victim, only the meanest would turn a cold stare. When the homeless family relies on one strong, brave adult to pull them out of a dangerous situation, every agency is there to support, and the majority will applaud or contribute.
When disasters take homes from large numbers of families, the governor of the state can send out the National Guard, designate funds to rebuild. If the disaster is limited, the community pitches in, but as we have seen 10 years after Katrina devastated town after town in the Gulf states, even that major effort can be mismanaged and less than what is needed.
When the homeless are caught in economic hardships, in spite of hard work, there are lifelines that can be grabbed, but only if they are aware and willing to take the time to work through paperwork while they hang on to their work ethic and take lower-paying jobs while they take a hit to their pride and living standard.
If the head-of-homeless household has become dysfunctional, either to injury, illness, or mental/emotional problems, there are agencies that will help, but again, this requires paperwork, attention to detail, and persistence during a frustrating process that will be delayed and may not cover all needs for financial, medical, housing, transportation, and mental health support. Personal pride takes another hit. Family members are stressed. Neighbors are worried, but not always involved in helping.
When the adults of a homeless family are addicted to drugs, prone to episodes of psychosis or have been incarcerated, the community is less likely to sympathize or assist, unless there are children depending on these adults. Then it is more likely that social services will relocate children to foster care or responsible relatives, and the adults find there are fewer options open to them. Needing more help and management than the other categories, the predictions for success are upside-down to the amount of effort that must be expended, which takes dedication and a force of will from a community which may be reeling from problems of their own and not willing to expend limited resources to their own detriment to help persons who have created problems for themselves.
Religious leaders in Christian communities will try to help everyone, believing in salvation for the individual, but in each situation, those needing help must recognize and be willing to work with whatever agency is available.
I support efforts by local churches to support homeless families – those generally being women with small children and lacking skills or other support structures enabling them to work but the truth is homelessness is almost always exclusive to drug addition, mental illness or a combination of both. The vast majority of homeless people are not families, not women with small children and almost never working, even lower paying jobs as you suggest. In the case of homeless families one or two better choices in their own lives would have forestalled the circumstances they find themselves in and unfortunately drag their children in with them. The community spoke and for good reason. You can’t create a situation where helping others results in a reduced or compromised quality of life for people in the vicinity of a shelter that for those that didn’t make bad choices. Christianity shouldn’t be used as a sword to guilt others into silence, nor as a shroud to cover the realities of associated crime/bad behaviors that are much more concentrated in homeless populations and that would no doubt have an effect on neighborhoods with large numbers of homeless people.
Compelling story, thankfully you had the courage to leave a bad situation. Many in your position are not that brave, try to stick it out, and wind up dead.
Congrats on where you are today, may you have eternal bliss with your family and find massive wealth in all that life has to offer!