Reel News: Week of Feb. 6 — Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son, Spongebob Movie

Upcoming Theatrical Releases

Jupiter Ascending
Director: Andy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski
PG-13; 2 hr. 5 min.
Trailer

From the streets of Chicago to the far-flung galaxies whirling through space, “Jupiter Ascending” tells the story of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who was born under a night sky, with signs predicting she was destined for great things. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning other people’s houses and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along-her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos. (Synopsis by Warner Bros.)

A largely disappointing film with a story that doesn’t live up to the special effects. The biggest problem is that there is too much story for the time allotted. This might have worked better in another format and with more external input. Still, it is a fun watch. Rent it.

The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water
Director: Paul Tibbitt
PG; 1 hr. 40 min.
Trailer

SpongeBob SquarePants, the world’s favorite sea dwelling invertebrate, comes ashore to our world for his most super-heroic adventure yet. (Synopsis by Paramount)

This isn’t the most sophisticated film, but then again, it’s a movie about a talking sponge intended for eight-year-olds. The jokes are on par with the TV version, and they come at a steady pace. What is most refreshing is that the film thrives on not having a message when it’s all over—a rarity for modern kids fare. See it.

Seventh Son
Director: Sergey Bodrov
PG-13; 2 hr.
Trailer

In a time long past, an evil is about to be unleashed that will reignite the war between the forces of the supernatural and humankind once more. Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) is a knight who had imprisoned the malevolently powerful witch, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), centuries ago. But now she has escaped and is seeking vengeance. Summoning her followers of every incarnation, Mother Malkin is preparing to unleash her terrible wrath on an unsuspecting world. Only one thing stands in her way: Master Gregory. In a deadly reunion, Gregory comes face to face with the evil he always feared would someday return. He has only until the next full moon to do what usually takes years: train his new apprentice, Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) to fight a dark magic unlike any other. Man’s only hope lies in the seventh son of a seventh son. (Synopsis by Warner Bros.)

This is a mess. The humor doesn’t work with the drama. The theatrics overplay the complete lack of plot. How they ever got Bridges and Moore to agree to this is a mystery. Skip it.

Upcoming DVD Releases

John Wick
Director: David Leitch, Chad Stahelski
R; 1 hr. 36 min.
Trailer

An ex-hitman comes out of retirement to track down the gangsters that took everything from him. With New York City as his bullet-riddled playground, JOHN WICK (Keanu Reeves) is a fresh and stylized take on the “assassin genre”. (Synopsis by Lionsgate)

This film doesn’t look like much, but manages the rare feat of combining excellent action with a strong character and performance by Reeves. A fun, stylistic fantasy that is really enjoyable to watch. See it.