From Sen. Nancy Jacobs:
Mitt Romney’s wife Ann is at the center of a renewed battle in the Mommy Wars, which has raged since the end of the Ozzie and Harriett days. Should the leading Republican Presidential Candidate be consulting his wife, as he says he does, on issues about women? A CNN commentator created a firestorm by saying Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life, so how could she understand economic issues facing women today.
Apologies for the comment were forthcoming and rightly so. Certainly raising 5 boys must be considered “working”. A chorus of mothers would testify that raising children is hard, stressful, but joyful work that can send you crawling to the pillow, dead to the world by day’s end. And while Romney’s wife may not have had to worry about how to pay for uniforms, school photos or the prom, her job may have been made even harder with a hard charging husband CEO.
Why must the Mommy Wars pit stay at home moms against working moms? Both have important jobs that require lots of work, management and organization. The only difference is one pays in cash when the other pays in intangibles. Most mothers struggle, looking at their baby’s face wondering if they should be leaving their child early and returning home late. They ask if a dynamic business woman makes a great role model for their child. I got the best of both worlds; lucky enough to stay at home with the first daughter, but the other two girls came along once I had opened a tennis club. Customers showered them with attention and the court became their playground. Sadly, most working moms don’t even have a choice in the matter.
In the end whatever choice a mom makes, compromise can reveal a silver lining. A dad at home will cherish a closer bond with his children while mom’s at work. Relatives and neighbors helping out become people the child will always hold dear. And there’s no doubt children learn much from working moms or grandmothers. My ten year old granddaughter has witnessed many Senate hearings and speeches and now is very comfortable speaking in public.
As Mother’s Day nears we should remember the saying “a mothers work is never done” whether your work or stay home, that couldn’t be more true!
Nancy Jacobs is a State Senator, the mother of three and grandmother of seven
According to a recent article I read, the feminists believe that all women should work outside the home. Staying home and raising children is definitely a no-no. I worked because I had to, but my mother took care of my daughter. It was very hard getting up early every morning and taking a child out and then returning home in the evening with very little time available to spend with the child. At some point I was able to stop working or work part-time.
In my own daughter’s case, she did not work and raised her child. I often wonder if this is because I worked and left her so much. I know another woman who did not work outside the home and raised three children. Her mother had been a career woman, and she remarked once that her mother was never home.
Working and leaving children in day care is almost a necessity now for most women. I wonder how these children will fare once they become adults. I did keep my granddaughter occasionally when she was small, and I asked one of the day care providers once how many infants did one caregiver have, and she told me three. I thought at that time that it was impossible for someone in a day care facility to give the love and attention a small child or baby really needs. Above all, if it is your child or grandchild, you feel love for a them that only you can give.
EVERY mother is a working mother.
I am a college graduate and worked in a professional setting for almost ten years before my husband and I started our family. At that point, I made a major career change to full-time mom. Within five years, I had four children. My husband and I made the decision to home-educate our children, which has been done K-12 with three (now college students with scholarships) and the youngest just starting high school at home. I’m also office manager and webmaster of my husband’s business. As my kids got older, their sports and youth actvities presented numerous volunteer opportunities which with I was involved. I can honestly say that my work at home and volunteer activities offer far more challenges and diversity than anything I ever encountered in the workplace. My education was NOT wasted, rather my children benefitted from it. Our family lives within the means of a single income, which takes WORK and planning. My heart goes out to those moms who so badly want to be at home with their children, but do not have the option. On contrary, there mothers who could be at home, but, for a multitude of reasons, are chosing otherwise. I feel sorry for the children from those families; what kind of message are those kids getting from a mom who has bought into the Feminist Lie and deliberately choose a career over being with her children in those young, fast-fleeting years?
I am reminded of the William Ross Wallace poem ” By a mightier power and stronger, man from his throne is hurled, And the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” Sadly, many mothers are abdicating, by choice, their most important duty and leaving the “cradle rocking” to government entities.
Kudos to Mrs. Romney for her non-apologetic response to such a callous, thoughtless remark. I would challenge the CNN reporter and those of that ilk to study the relationship of our second President, John Adams, and his wife, Abigail. She was another stay-at-home wife and mother who gave wise counsel to her high-profile husband.
North County Mama – get ’em! Your story sounds so very similar to ours – I wondered as I read it if my wife had written it! Kudos to you! I trust and beleive your kids will honor the sacrifices you and your husband are making on their behalf. You have my respect.
There is no “Mommy War”. Most women are naturally nurturing and to take something as wonderful as motherhood and to try to make it a contentious issue is unfathomable.
My mother did both and we were neither loved less or more by whether she was exhausted from working inside or outside of the home. Don’t fall into the trap of one being better than the other. This is another example of one size not fitting all.
Celebrate that you are a Mother and that you have your monuments, living breathing beings who are a testament to you. Don’t belittle or elevate falsely based upon the perceptions of others. Do what you do best, love your children and your life. Love is the best gift you can give and it is possessed by women who work outside of the home and those who are employed full-time by their families.
Most working mothers do so because they have no choice. Raising children is expensive and if you aren’t fortunate enough to come from a well-off family or have a spouse with a good job that allows you to stay home, what else is there to do? It’s not about feminism, it’s about survival. Think about that before you start to criticize and demonize. We already have enough people in the public eye who believe women today, whether staying home or working, shouldn’t be treated with respect and dignity and can’t be trusted to make their own decisions regarding their families.
The stay at home moms has more control of there children then the working (for paycheck mom) reason I said paycheck moms is the stay at home mom works 24/7 w/o a pay. Teens today r out of control gettin into everything, drugs r one of the worst in the states especially with working parents BC they’re not around for their kids. We see it everyday read about it everyday that one teen killed another,or teen od. Yes it worth it to me to stay home to know what my kids are up to how they are with. So anyone who says a stay at home mom should go to work thank about it what’s more important a job or your children? After all if I add up all the hours I put in with my children house laundry lawncare cooking cleaniNg I would get a check for about 2000.per week BC my hours r not 9 to 5 my hours start when my feet hits the floor till they lay down at night. So next time you see a stay at home mom tell her. God bless after all a mother earns her wings for being a mother from trail n errors. GOD BLESS All THE MOM’S THAT GAVE UP SO MUCH TO STAY WITH THEIRS CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just so you know, “paycheck moms” also work from the hour they wake up until they lay down at night – they are still moms outside of their “9-5” jobs. If anything, they work longer than you, because they have to take care of laundry, cooking, cleaning, lawncare, etc in addition to an 8-10 hour “paycheck” day.